An Arabic Wedding, Part 2

Around 8:30 PM the next night, we went to Hassan's house. When we arrived, the British couple Shawn knows was there, along with two other female friends. We sat on cushions on the floor in Hassan's living room as he served us tea and snacks off of a tray. We joked around and talked for a while. Hassan's daughter was still at the salon getting ready for her wedding party. I asked one of the women who had been to several weddings what it was like.

She told me a similar story to the ones I had already heard. The bride arrives and they take lots of pictures, then the women let loose, dancing around in their miniskirts and tight clothes. She said we would be seriously under-dressed, as some women would have ball gowns on .

At nearly 10 PM, we got the call that the bridal party was heading to the wedding venue. Hassan took us four Western women to the center. We arrived just as the bride and groom were getting there. We went inside the center right behind them. Hassan's daughter looked like a princess. She had a very ornate and beautiful wedding gown. It looked like something you would see at a very formal American wedding.

Once inside, there was a crowd of women in their abayas who rushed the new couple. We followed them inside to a small platform where they started to take lots of pictures of the couple. I noticed that we four Westerners towered above the rest of the women inside. I did have two-inch heels on and the other women had their shoes off, but still, we were much taller than any of the women. Strange for me, considering I am only 5' 4" myself.

We watched for a while and I got some of the most peculiar stares. The three British women I was with were dressed as we normally would in America for a semi-formal event. But I was in my abaya again. People were coming up and staring at this strange American girl in an abaya. Some of the younger girls (teens and pre-teens) kept approaching me and asking me to show them my henna tattoos. They would slide my sleeves up then rapidly pull them back down again to cover my arms. One old woman was standing near by smiled and shook her head, showing me to cover my arms. Hassan was present at this time, as was the groom and one of the bride's brothers. The rest of the guests were all women.

We ascended the platform and said hello to the bride. They took a few pictures with us Westerners and then we joined the rest of the crowd. At this point, I was swarmed by young girls bursting with curiosity. One girl even tried to peel my abaya open to see what I was wearing underneath! About 10 or 15 girls crowded around me and started trying to ask me questions. Since I didn't speak Arabic and they didn't speak much English, there was not very much exchange. They kept saying things like,"You are so beautiful! What is your name? I love you." It was truly bizarre and a little embarrassing since I was at someone else's wedding and I was drawing this much of a crowd.

The British ladies led me into the next room where they had little plastic trays with a variety of little food items. In this outer room, I noticed the women I had seen the night before. They were sitting around on cushions and smoking and talking, just as they had the night before. When they saw me, they called me over and wanted to see my tattoos. They seemed impressed with how they had turned out, as they were very dark on my hands. Apparently, that is more desirable than a lighter color.

As I was getting my food, the crowd of girls followed me and started asking for my e-mail address and phone number. I probably got about 10 requests. I didn't give out my number, but I did give a few girls my e-mail address. One of the girls has actually tried to chat with me. A very interesting experience for both of us, I assume, since we do not speak each other's language.

I went back into the main room where there were no chairs. Women were sitting on the floor on cushions. I saw Mona, the nice woman I had met the night before and sat with her the rest of the time. About then, the British ladies decided they would leave. They said they had "been too far too many of these" Arabic weddings. I told them I had a sociology degree and was very interested in the cultural experience. They looked at me like I was crazy, but they left.

The rest of the time, I just watched the goings on. Mostly, women were just sitting around eating and talking. The bride and groom had hours of pictures taken with every imaginable family combination. I met one of Hassan's wives (not the mother of the bride---his other wife). Interestingly, I saw his wives talking to one another, getting along and looking at pictures. Hassan's wife was very nice, but she did not speak English, so I was in the same predicament of using lots of motions and a few words we might have in common.

Mona explained more relationships to me---who was related to whom and how. The girls that were still crowded around me were asking questions about me; where was I from? How did I like Bahrain? What were my children's names? Mona translated. Eventually, they lost interest in me and went to do other things. I was relieved.

As midnight approached, things seemed to be winding down. There was no rowdy dancing, only loud Arabic music. Almost all of the women stayed covered, except occasionally when some related male would come and the women who were related to him could unveil. Underneath, they had formal, beautiful dresses on. Only a few were revealing.

I watched how the women interacted with each other. One woman sat next to me for a while and was very boisterous and friendly. She was unveiled for a lot of the event, but once, when an unrelated male came into the room, she pulled her veil completely over her face until he was out of sight. She was quiet while he walked by, but resumed her rowdy conversation with female relatives once he was gone.

I started to get a little tired and everyone was starting to leave, so I called and Hassan came and picked me up. On the way back to his house, I thanked him again for inviting us and we talked some about his family. I said his family was very kind to me, "al-hamdu l-illah"--"all praise to Allah." That's another very common phrase here. Our pediatrician says, "al-hamdu l-illah" every other sentence. "Mash'-allah" is a phrase which means pretty much the same thing and is often used (I think it means "thanks to God").

I told him that his daughter looked beautiful and he said that he said she told him she was glad she was marrying her cousin, because now she could show the pictures to her entire family--they're related to everyone now, so she can be unveiled in front of them! Yes, they're first cousins. I'll talk more about cousin marriage in a later post.

We went back to the house and I found Shawn and Kai playing outside. Quinn had fallen asleep earlier. Shawn said they had shared a meal and then the British people left. Just he and Hassan were left with the children afterwards.

We were grateful for the experience to attend this wedding.