My hands after getting henna tattoos. It took the woman who did this about two hours. She free-handed the whole thing and then I had to let it dry for about four hours. After that, the henna makes little flakes on your skin which you peel or scrape off. The designs dye your skin and stay that way, gradually fading, over the course of about two weeks. After that, your skin is back to normal.
Last week, we were invited by our mechanic Hassan to his daughter's wedding. We didn't know it was the wedding; Shawn was told it was a "pre-wedding party." Ever the curious sociologist, I was very eager to go. Theresa watched the children, I dressed in my abaya and we went. When we got there, Shawn and I were separated and I went with all the women, while Shawn went with all the men.
I went into the area where the women were celebrating. It was like a community center with one good-sized, open room for events. I didn't even go inside the whole time because I was outside. In the courtyard outside, lots of women were sitting around talking, getting henna done, eating and smoking sheesha (flavored tobacco) from those large hookah water pipes. Almost nobody spoke English to any degree. There was one other woman there who did speak English. She was an Italian woman whose husband Hassan had business dealings with, but she was only there for a little while. The rest of the evening, I was pretty much on my own. Hassan had paid for me to have henna done. I had my hands done about a year ago when Joe and Justine came to visit and was not really interested in repeating the process. The henna just gets old after a while and as it starts to fade, it just looks like you have dirty hands. But since Hassan, our gracious host, had already paid, I plunked down on some cushions on the ground for the woman to tattoo me.
Inside, I could hear the women singing over a PA system, dancing and joking around. A beautiful, tall women named Mona came and sat with me for a while. She spoke some English, and she brought me some food. She brought me this incredible amount of food in a bowl. There was no way I could eat all of it. It was potatoes, rice and lamb from this giant pot that everyone was eating from. After someone nearby me was done with their, what they could not eat was dumped back into the community pot.
One of Hassan's sisters also came and sat by me for a while as I was getting my hands done. She explained some of what was happening. The bride was inside with everybody else. The older generation of women were getting less ornate henna tattoos. She explained that traditionally, women have tattooed their fingertips, palms and soles of their feet. The more ornate, decorative tattoos are a more recent trend and I did notice that the younger women were getting those types.
She asked me why I wore an abaya. I told her it was just more comfortable and asked her if that was strange. She said, "No, of course not! It's nice." It seems to me that most of the women I have actually had the occasion to talk about my abaya-wearing ways with always are encouraging of the practice. I have often wondered if they think it's strange to see this Westerner in an abaya. I do see some periodically, but most Westerners here dress like they would in their home environments.
It was dizzying! So much Arabic and I know they were saying things about me that I could not understand. Everybody was very friendly, though. Some of the women kept asking me questions in Arabic, but I could not understand what they were saying. I felt very stupid as I just shook my head and said, "I don't speak Arabic. I'm sorry!" Now I know how foreigners must feel when we try to communicate with them. It is a very helpless feeling!
I just mostly sat and watched the women interact with one another, enjoying each other's company, smoking, talking and laughing. Hassan's sister explained that most of these women were family members, but there were few friends as well. Almost all of them were dressed in black abayas, with their heads covered. Hassan's sister explained that Hassan has 8 sisters! Three of them come from Hassan's dad's wife #1 and the other five come from Hassan's dad's wife #2. His dad had two wives. Hassan also has two wives.
After my tattoos were done, I waved goodbye to everybody (it was almost 11:30 PM!) and met up with Shawn. He told me what happened at the men's gathering. He said they all got together and sat down on the floor in a similar facility as the one I went to . They all ate from large communal plates with their hands. After that, they walked with the groom all through the town, singing and chanting. They walked him to a nearby mosque and the groom went in to pray alone. After that, they just went back and hung out for a while.
As we were leaving, I thanked Hassan for inviting us and he invited us to come back the next day. Apparently, the wedding goes like this. The first night, the groom's party is held. The women just seemed to get together by default. The second night, the bride's party happens. After that, they are married. I don't think they actually have a ceremony where the bride and groom are together in front of everybody.
A British man that has been in Bahrain 10 years and has been to several weddings with his wife gave us some inside info. He said that his wife told him that the weddings that she has been to have been pretty wild on the second night. The women often put on lots of makeup and skimpy clothes underneath their abayas and veils. Then, after taking lots of pictures with the groom, the women let loose, taking of their abayas (no men present), stripping down to bare essentials (sometimes even just slinky lingerie and heels) and dancing the night away. She said that they dance around the bride, telling sexual jokes and "flirting" with the bride. Perhaps it is to get the bride in the "mood" for her wedding night?
The next day, we were talking with Shawn's boss and he told us that his wife had a similar experience when she went to an Arab wedding. The women there were in very skimpy mini-skirts. Some of the women were in lingerie. They danced and threw one dinar notes into the air for the bride to collect later in a big pillowcase.
Knowing all of this, I had to go the second night.....
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