Another Day in the Life

This has been my day so far (it's only 11:39 AM):

8:30 AM---husband wakes up and realizes he's already half an hour late for work.
8:32 AM---husband's fire chief knocks on door to make sure Shawn is okay. Shawn greets him at the door shirtless, disheveled and still wearing his anti-snoring breathe-right strip.
8:40 AM--husband kisses me goodbye and heads to work.
8:45-9:00 AM---I obsessively read news stories that really have no relevance to my life in any way, shape or form.

9:00--awaken my two rebel yells (aka, my children)
9:05 AM--I realize that I have no milk and no bread.
9:05-9:15 AM--diaper and clothing changes.
9:25 AM--attempt to feed children organic oatmeal. Quinn eats, Kai snubs.
9:30 AM--give children bananas instead.
9:35 AM--give up any hope of going to the gym today.
9:35-10:35 AM--tidy up house, check blogs and message boards, strip bed linens while children watch Sesame Street and Big, Big World.
10:40 AM--attempt to order some books on Amazon.com.

11:00 AM--Kai informs me that Quinn "pooped."
11:02 AM--Stand horrified in the living room doorway when I see her diaper has leaked and she has poop on her dress, legs, hands and all over our beautiful Persian rug.
11:03 AM--scramble to try to contain the biohazard.
11:04 AM--realize wipes aren't going to do the job and declare defeat.
11:05-11:08 AM--try to shower screaming, slippery, poopie toddler.
11:08-11:10 AM--try to dress screaming, slippery, clean toddler.
11:10-11:20 AM--attempt carpet cleaning.
11:21 AM--call Shawn to help me cool down.
11:25 AM--put children in the playroom and put on headphones, only removing them every few minutes to make sure the children are okay.
11:38 AM--decide to blog.......